The Pregnancy Journey 2020-2021

A person hears a lot of information regarding pregnancy, but nothing you hear really prepares you for the 40-week journey that is pregnancy. I wanted to jot down some lessons I learned, some myths that were debunked, and some experiences I had during pregnancy.

First Trimester

• Morning Sickness: Is not limited to the morning. From week 6 to week 13, I was nauseous all day everyday. I hear there is a nausea medication you can take, but I hate mediation, so I lived on salty Pop Chips and Ginger Ale Zevia.
• Pregnancy Test: It’s really hard to believe the results of one test, so make sure to buy at least three tests.
• Food Aversions: All food. All food tasted awful and was awful, so it’s hard to gain weight.
• Excitement/Fear: Getting pregnant your first time is SO exciting. Out of all three trimesters, this trimester was the SWEETEST for my husband and I being excited. We laughed and cried and rejoiced and dreamed about the future and holding our precious baby. This was also the ‘scary’ trimester when it felt like we were ‘holding our breath’ until we got to 13 weeks.
• Baby Announcement: We kept the announcement simple, meaning no professional photo shoots or staged anything, and that was our choice. Do what you want to do, announcement or no announcement. Don’t feel pressured to do anything else because your friends or Pinterest are!
• Genetic Testing: We did not do genetic testing. Some of our friends did and others didn’t. It’s good to know which tests are optional and which tests are not. The entire process can be a very ‘invasive’ experience, so it’s nice to have a choice in what tests you want done.

Second Trimester

• Nesting: Why had I NEVER heard this term before? It’s awful and SO real. My husband and I fought, more than once, because I wanted to clean EVERY crack and corner of the house (to prepare ‘the nest’ for baby), and he had NO CLUE why cleaning the trim would ‘prepare’ the nest for baby. HAHA. Looking back now, I just have to laugh at the fights we had. At the time and in the moment, I knew I was right in ‘preparing the home,’ whatever that looked like, but now I agree with him that the trim likely didn’t need to get cleaned, but the house looks GREAT! 😉 We both grew immensely during this time. Lessons learned: 1. I learned to communicate when I was starting to feel a ‘wave’ of hormones coming on if/when the house was getting too dirty. So instead of getting upset or crazy cleaning and expecting him to help, I would say, “Hey, I’m starting to get ‘nesting brain.’ Do you think we could take Saturday and get some things done?” 2. He learned to communicate if he was truly okay with this or not. 3. He also learned to be a little more proactive in helping pickup around the house so dirt and dishes didn’t pile up and stress me out. 4. We both learned to meet each other in the middle. I was on one extreme and he was on the other, and we amicably came together to maintain peace and harmony in our marriage, because at the end of the day, the nest is only as ‘put together’ as we are.
• Choosing a Name: I definitely used to judge the people who said, “We’re waiting until the baby’s born to share the name.” I don’t remember the reasons why I judged those people, but I understand why some want to wait. Some of the reasons: 1. People WILL tell you their thoughts. I told my family the top 5 names we liked, and they didn’t like any of the names. So if you really like a name and are set on it, either don’t tell others OR be ready to tell family/friends to ‘piss off’ if they don’t like it! 2. Dibs. There was a name I liked, but my husband’s co-worker, who was also pregnant, called ‘dibs’ on that name. So that one was out. (I mean there are always going to be people who ‘double down’ on a name. You cannot avoid it, but it did seem a little odd to name our baby the same as theirs given the situation.) So we are due in a week, and I’m not telling anyone the name until the baby is born, because people will tell you BEFORE the baby is born that they don’t like the name, but once you’ve already named your baby, they’ll just say it behind your back! 😉
• Gender Reveal: Do something! My husband didn’t want to do ‘cutesy’ announcement or bump photos, like arms wrapped around me or hand on the bump, and I was okay with that. After all, I have never been at someone’s house and seen ‘bump photos’ displayed. Usually the photos that make the cut are family and baby photos. So whatever, but I drew the line at not doing something fun for the gender reveal. Posted below is our gender reveal, and he said 1. He was glad we did something; 2. He was glad we both had a ‘bag’ to open.

• Hormones: My hormones were raging in the second trimester. We had the most fights AND the most sex. At a certain point, we were getting in a fight every two weeks; it was like clockwork. It was miserable, until we sat down one day and just said, “This isn’t us. We aren’t that couple who quarrels like this.” We then spent some time discussing what was going on. I mean, we are a two days drive from family, living in a COVID pandemic, not able to go to church, go to restaurants, or partake in most of our hobbies. We started to identify that being pregnant was new and stressful enough, then add a pandemic, protests, riots, an election, a million fires in the west, and we realized we were doing a DAMN GOOD JOB getting along! Needless to say, after that talk, our bi-weekly quarrels ceased.
• Baby Registry: Talk to seasoned moms about which items were a must, which were nice to have, and which ones may be nice but really are not necessary. It will save a lot of research time!
• Postpartum Products: STOCK UP! I spent so much time thinking about the baby, the house, the registry, the everything and anything else that I almost forgot about what I will need the first couple weeks after delivery. I ended up getting a breast pump and parts (via insurance), nipple cream, diapers, all different sized pads, lotion, Frida peri bottle, bath salts, perennial spray, witch hazel pads, postpartum sweatpants, postpartum underwear, nursing gown and shirts, fuzzy socks (because why not), and I made sure I have some sweet treats in the freezer for a job well done!

Third Trimester

• Nausea: I had heard of morning sickness, which is really ‘all day’ sickness, but I did not know that nausea could happen in the third trimester. That sucks! Back to Ginger Ale Zevias for me!
• Weekly Gynie: I will say, at 30-something weeks, you have to go for prenatal appointments bi-weekly, and then weekly for the last month. It’s a lot. Choose a hospital close to where you live!
• Enjoy! The clean house, the cute nursery, the martial state of bliss, and just get ready to welcome in a sweet, precious baby anytime!